The winter holiday season is generally a time where friends and family come together to celebrate and reflect upon the year that has passed. There’s a special kind of warmth and magic in the air throughout these holidays that has the ability to bring communities of all kinds together for a moment of peace and joy. There’s a special kind of privilege in being able to experience this nostalgic sentimentality of home and hearth.

I wish I could state with certainty that these sentiments and experiences are true for all of us. They’re not.

The holidays can also be a stressful and foreboding time for those who are, or feel, alone; those that are separated from their families and friends (especially in recent years where viruses continue to run rampant); and, those who experience grief during this time for one reason or another. In the case of my life, Christmas in particular has been excruciatingly difficult in recent years because I have had family and friends become severely ill during that period of time, thereby keeping us apart during a holiday which encourages communities to celebrate together.

There is a collective amount of grief and devastation affecting every single one of us in the face of so many injustices and tragedies. This lamentation acknowledges that grief.

The carol “It came upon a midnight clear” struggles to make itself known from time to time, while traditional elements such as brighter timbres and metallic percussion are used to depict winter. This is an emotionally driven, stream-of-consciousness work where grief is ultimately consumed by anger and rage during a time where peace and joy are encouraged to be shared by all people, for all people.

This lamentation is dedicated to those who endure such difficult times throughout the holiday season. You are not alone.